When I was training, working with anger sounded scary and unpredictable. Now, however, I find helping those clients who are struggling with anger to be some of the most satisfying work that I do. Anger can be frightening, not only for anyone on the receiving end, but for those feeling the anger.
It can feel like someone or something is possessing you, or that you’ve lost your control (and dignity). It’s also very tiring and can have far-reaching consequences long after the initial angry outburst. It can ruin relationships, break-up families and damage reputations. If you are feeling angry all the time, it’s a very lonely place to be.
In a workplace scenario, you simply cannot afford to get angry with clients, colleagues or your staff. However, it sometimes happens, with disastrous results. More often than not, however, that anger rears up when you’re with your family, friends, or with a complete stranger in a queue somewhere. You may even start to worry about where and when you’re going to feel it next.
Feeling on the edge of anger all the time – irritable, just waiting for something to push you over the edge – is not a good place to be, which is why seeking therapy for anger is a wise thing to do.
I offer anger management in Hythe near Folkestone, Kent. We work on two main levels. The first is helping you deal with that anger in the moment, using practical tools and techniques that can help build in pauses, or diffuse that anger as soon as possible. This might also involve looking at the after-effects of past angry outbursts, and what can be done to repair any damage.
We also delve into what’s going on underneath. What are the reasons behind your anger? We will be looking at your intrinsic needs as a human being. Quite often when one or more of these is threatened or out of balance it can have repercussions that may show up as anger. Some clients will have found their anger has been triggered by overwhelm, or an incident that has reignited a past trauma for them. Overwhelm is often brought by many clients to the therapy room, and within weeks you should be seeing that die down. Past trauma can be dealt with through a technique I use called a Rewind. This is very gentle and does not involve you having to re-traumatise yourself by telling me the story again (unless you want to).
Very few people like feeling anger, but there are some who enjoy the powerful rush it can create. We work with this just like any other addiction. The same if it feels like a compulsion.
In short, there’s a lot more to anger than just getting angry. You don’t have to struggle on with this alone. It’s a sign that something is wrong.