I first came across the idea, rather than the name, when my father announced that he hated the Autumn as it was the precursor to him feeling down over the winter months. It was only in my 30s that I started to experience the same thing. So, what exactly is SAD?

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a type of depression. It generally happens at a specific time of year, usually during the Autumn and winter months when daylight hours are shorter and we tend to spend more time indoors. It makes sense doesn’t it. We have less exposure to natural light at this time. This can disrupt the body’s internal clock and even prevent hormones like melatonin being released at the right time. Melatonin affects our sleep and lack of sleep can impact all aspects of our life.  It is most commonly associated with the winter months, but some people may experience a form of SAD during the summer, especially if they find themselves housebound or working in a basement, for instance.

Common symptoms of SAD are:

1. Persistent sadness or low mood.
2. Loss of interest or pleasure in usual activities. You withdraw and also loose the structure and connection those activities used to bring to your life.
3. Increased fatigue and a desire to sleep more.
4. Finding it harder to get going in the morning.
5. Difficulty concentrating and making decisions, perhaps even brain fog.
6. Changes in appetite and weight, often with a craving for carbohydrates, or “stodge.”
7. Social withdrawal and irritability.
8. Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness.
9. Physical symptoms like aches and pains.

Even if symptoms are small, such as feeling more tired than usual, they can have a knock-on effect on your life. You end up being less productive, for instance, and this impacts your self-esteem.

How to help SAD

For many people, it’s surprisingly simple and easy to feel better. Here are some ideas:

Light Therapy (Phototherapy)

Light therapy involves exposure to a bright light box that mimics natural sunlight. It can be a highly effective treatment for SAD.  I bought a simple lightbox from Amazon for under £30 and it’s been a faithful part of my office every winter for five years now. You only need a short time every morning, and it doubles as a great light for zoom calls!

Lifestyle Changes

It may sound pretty obvious but sometimes not so easy to do if you are working – get out into the daylight early in the morning. Perhaps you can adjust your working hours to start a bit later after a walk, or get off public transport or park further away and bring a walk into your daily routine. See what you can fit in lunch time too.

See people

Do not withdraw as this makes things worse. If you’re not feeling that sociable, do something where you can be around people, but perhaps not relying on talking so much, like an activity. Or, still see people, but in shorter bursts.

Vitamin D

Some people with SAD may benefit from vitamin D supplements, as they can be deficient during the darker months.

Look at your stress levels

Stress can make things worse, and winter brings its own worries. Concerns over paying energy bills, affording Christmas or even relationship issues as we spend more time together can feel hard at this time of year. Building up a menu of stress-reduction techniques like mindfulness, meditation, and deep breathing can help. Talk to a friend and build in more exercise.

Support Groups

Not for everyone, but joining a SAD support group can provide emotional support and a sense of community with others who are experiencing similar challenges. This can be useful if you are feeling isolated and lonely already.

Your GP

If you’ve tried these natural ideas, then it could be an idea to talk to your GP. In some cases, antidepressant medications, such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), may be prescribed to alleviate symptoms.

Counselling or Psychotherapy

Working with someone like myself can help you develop coping strategies for managing SAD symptoms. If the depressed mood is bringing other things to the surface, we can work with these.

Hope

It’s important to remember that SAD is a real and treatable condition. If you’d like to talk about how I could help you, contact me here, or book in a chat here. I offer counselling in Folkestone and Hythe, as well as online therapy.

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Here are the reasons why you should be journalling:

• Journaling helps with anxiety. It can help you get spiralling thoughts out onto the page where you can see patterns, solutions or are just able to dismiss them.
• It helps with sleep and depression. Your mind works overtime whilst you’re asleep, using REM sleep to help dissipate any unresolved worries or emotions from the previous day. Too many of these and you will wake up tired, or ealy, or both, as your REM sleep just can’t cope. Getting those thoughts out helps you consciously process them, rather than leaving them all to be dealt with in your sleep. Waking up tired and unmotivated is one of the stages of the depression cycle, so journalling is actively helping you step out of that cycle.
• You build the habit of working on your worries. Putting things down on paper may help you see solutions you just can’t when everything is in your head. Also, you’ll inevitably get bored of wriring about the same topics every day and you’ll force yourself to do something about them
• It is especially good if you are suffering from brain fog, like many of my menopausal or long-Covid clients. Journaling helps them get their head in order, they say.
• If you fancy yourself as creative, getting everything out of your head (a brain dump!), can help make way for something more creative to start happening. In this way it’s a perfect tool to help you out of writer’s block.
• Finally, it can help you perform better in your work, as this study explains.

How to Journal Properly

Step One: decide on when

Writer Julia Cameron calls journalling Morning Pages,  suggesting that mornings are a good time to do this. It can be easier to build a twenty minute habit at the beginning of the day rather than the end when it is easier to let it slip. The truth is, you need to do it when it suits you. I probably have one or two longer journalling sessions each week, often at a local coffee shop, and I talk about how helpful it is here. Some of my clients like to do it after work to “close down the work files.” Others can literally only find time on a Saturday morning when they have dropped the kids off at football. Work out what will work for you and commit to it.

Step two: decide on how

I like writing in a notebook, partly because I like notebooks. Some of my clients prefer to type their journal on their laptop and a small number talk into their phones and record their sessions. Physically writing is good as there is something about that eye to hand coordination which adds a cathartic quality. However, once do what suits you, and you know you will be able to keep to.

Step three: write

That’s it, just write. Whatever comes into your mind. At the beginning you might find yourself reviewing your to-do list, or a conversation with a friend. Soon, however, you’ll dig deeper and you’ll be surprised what comes out. Don’t edit yourself or worry about spelling, grammar or handwriting. This is just for you and you can dispose of or delete it afterwards if you wish.

Step four: give yourself a limit

Know exactly how much you need to write before you start. You can set a certain amount of time (ten minutes) or a certain number of pages. This is where you will build the discipline to make this a habit. Of course, you can go over if you’re in the middle of wrestling with a weighty problem. This is a tool that you may find yourself wanting to use more than you imagined!

Book an introductory session with Paula here, or find out more about her writing here.

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If you haven’t had any therapy or counselling before, you may be a little daunted as to what happens in a therapy session? The truth is, it will be slightly different for different types of therapies. Not only that, but every single therapist has his or her unique way of running their psychotherapy or counselling session. What I can give you, however, is a guide to how a Human Givens psychotherapist might structure a therapy session, and in turn, how therapy sessions with me often run.

Initial chat with a therapist

First off is the initial chat. Many psychotherapists prefer to talk to you first before scheduling in a full session. They might do this by phone or an online meeting (you can schedule an online chat with me here). This is to see if you are a good fit for each other. Many counsellors have their expert areas, such as working with teenagers, or prefer to work in a certain type of way, such as online only, or once a week. This chat can help you both work out if these things tally up with what you want. It also gives you chance to see how you feel about your possible psychotherapist. Can you see yourself working with them over the next few weeks?

Sometimes, the result of this chat is that you book in a session straight away, whilst you are on your call. Occasionally, you may need time to think or check your diary.  If you don’t think they’re right for you, then it’s perfectly fine to continue looking. This is an important relationship. If you are asking for something the therapist doesn’t do, such as couples counselling, many counsellors have a rich network of other therapists and can often recommend someone, or refer you to a colleague. Please do ask for recommendations if you find that they don’t work in your particular area.

First therapy session

Your first session is often what we call an intake session. Some therapists may send you forms to fill in beforehand, which will ask for personal details such as your Dr, contact details etc. Others will go through these in your session. Certainly, in a Human Givens session, you will be taken through an assessment. Your therapist should also take you through confidentiality and their own terms of business, unless you have already had this in writing.

The therapist will ask you a number of questions which you may scale from 1-5, or 1-10, depending on the assessment. While these can seem a little tedious, especially when you have something to report, they are really valuable. You may do this every session. I have clients who have come in scoring 1s and 2s on their initial session. Later, when I can share that they are now self-scoring scoring 4,5 and even 6s, it is a tangible recognition of how far they have come. It also allows us to pin-point areas where we need to look, such as feeling valued, or having enough time to themselves.

For me, these measurements are an important part of our sessions together and often prompt some really good work.

The therapy itself

Then, you’ll get into the crux of why you are there. For the first session the therapist will want to know what has brought you to them right here, right now, along with other things that might be going on in your life. A Human Givens counsellor will want to unpack your symptoms. Simply telling them you feel depressed isn’t enough. After all, what feeling depressed means for you might mean sadness and tears, while the next client may equate it with feeling numb and having no energy. Knowing your symptoms, both physical and emotional, is key for Human Givens work.

Paula Gardner talking about what happens in a therapy session

We discuss goals. What is it you want to get out of therapy? This is where psychotherapy often divides. Some, the pure talking therapies, are more focused on giving you space to talk, and perhaps spotting patterns from the past. Human Givens sessions are very practical however, and we want you to feel better as soon as possible. While we may bring the past into our sessions, our focus, our work, is on what you can do to move forward. To this end, we often set tasks to help you move towards your goals. You can think of these as homework, if you like. In truth, they are often tools and tactics to help you manage things better, or practise new ways of coping.

However, you are more than your problems. A skilled therapist looks at the resources you have in your life, and helps you gather them together. These could be the people around you, past occassions where you have used a certain skill, your experience, and even personality traits. Understanding your available resources is a key part of helping yourself move forwards, and then talking through how to apply them to your goals.

Guided Imagery

Human Givens psychotherapists often use a tool called Guided Imagery. This is a deep relaxation where you will be guided to a state of calmness – really helpful in itself. In this state you can access your REM state, the state where your brain can create new pathways that help form new patterns for the future. Your therapist may use this imagery to share relaxation tools that you can go away and practise, talk through some of the tasks you agreed on, and help you imagine carrying them out (this means that you are more likely to succeed). It’s a process that athletes often use to hone their skills.

Human Givens therapists also use this state to do work around helping people with addictions, or doing what we call a Rewind technique, for trauma.

Ending the session

Finally, you will end your session setting your next date. Your therapist won’t want to you unpack what’s happened during guided imagery, but it is really helpful if you can build in some extra time for a relaxing walk, or even sit in the car with some gentle music on, if you want to get the most out of the relaxed feeling it brings on, and think through the session.

As I said, each therapist is different. Some will do guided imagery online, some won’t. Some will take notes, some won’t. Some counsellors work from home, some from consulting rooms or a centre somewhere. All these little things are often as important as the therapy. If you’ve a long drive to get to your therapist, or they can only see you on a Tuesday morning, sometimes that can make attending sessions feel less appealing.

Practical issues for counselling

Fees, and the methods of payment, also vary between counsellors, so it’s worth being ultra clear on these. What are the cancellation terms,  and process? Human Givens therapists won’t offer a package of sessions (such as buy six upfront) as we believe that is unethical. We also vary as to whether we charge for no shows. If we’ve hired out a room to see a client, or refused that slot to another client,  it can get expensive if you don’t show up, so this isn’t about being greedy.

The best way to get a feel for working with someone is just to make that initial contact and see how you feel. However, you will get the most out of your therapy by commiting to turning up to sessions, at least trying to tackle your homework, and giving your therapist honest feedback and information. If you feel your goal is no longer relevent, or something more important has come up, tell them! Therapy is a relationship, a collaboration, and you both have your own important parts to play.

You can read more about working with me in the FAQ.

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I interviewed Caroline Carr a couple of years ago around overcoming depression. The context was around people who have been made redundant. However, Caroline shared some hugely powerful tips and tools that would be invaluable to  anyone suffering from depression, whether they have been made redundant or not.

Caroline talks about how to spot whether you are feeling depression or the perfectly natural side-effects of shock. Sometimes, it can be hard to tell as some kind of sadness or depression is a natural part of the grief cycle.

She then moves onto sharing easy to implement ways we can change our energy. Doing this can help us feel better and more empowered whatever our mental state. This is what Caroline calls “finding your oomph,” and shares a great tool called ROAR that she goes through, step by step.

This video interview is perfect for anyone who may feel stuck in feelings of sadness, grief or depression. Or, indeed, those supporting someone who may be feeling like this. If you are feeling down or depressed right now, looking after yourself is key. You may find 99 Ideas for Self-Care really helpful at this time.

Caroline Carr

Caroline began her career in the theatre and television where she worked for several years. Later, Caroline taught drama, voice and speech in schools and prison. She them moved onto becoming a life coach and hypnotherapist, with a practice in Harley Street.

Her personal and professional experience led to her developing a passion for teaching others how to find inner strength, confidence, positivity and joy. Caroline is the author of several books on mental health and women’s health. She has been featured in the national press and interviewed on radio and TV.

www.carolinecarr.com

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Therapy for Sleep: Sleep Clinic in Kent

Sleep is vital to not only our physical functioning, but also our emotional and mental wellbeing. Without sleep (or even with too much sleep), we can feel unbalanced. Sleep plays a pivotol part in both anxiety and depression, as well influencing our ability to cope when things get difficult. Insomnia can be debilitating, and what works for someone else may bring you no relief. This is why I devote a large part of my practice to sleep, and discuss it during many of our sessions.

Someone who is depressed often sleeps longer than they need to, and can’t understand why they still feel so lethargic and lacking in energy or motivation when they wake up. This can increase depression as you are less likely to do the things that can help lift you out of it. Worries, anxiousness and rumination can spill over into sleep, making your brain work harder to refresh itself, and often creating even more anxiety and worry (perhaps about sleep now too) the next day.

Waking up in the middle of the night is tiring, and can impact your life in so many ways.

From a physical point of view, overnight, the synaptic fluid in your spine rises up the spinal column and flushes out your brain, taking away all the toxins and accumulated gunk of the day.However, your body can only do this if you have a long enough asleep to go through the sleep cycles. This means that you need at least seven to eight hours of sleep, something so many of us just don’t get.

Sleep Clinic

I primarily work with clients on:

• Getting to sleep
• Staying asleep
• Early morning waking
• Using sleep to enhance work or sports performance
• Quality of sleep
• Waking up feeling tired and unmotivated despite having what seems like enough sleep
• Nightmares
• Feeling sleepy during the day
• The impact of shift-work

I see clients both in person and online, you don’t need to be in Kent.

Committing to sleep may be the most self-respecting thing you can do for your body. We all know what it’s like to have a really short night of sleep, that time when you have to catch an early flight, or when you’ve been drinking and wake up in the early hours of the morning, but so many of us don’t get enough sleep on a regular basis. Many studies say that we need seven to eight hours a night. Less or more than this has been linked to a shorter lifespan , chronic illness and dementia. Yes, sleep can literally save your life.

Some sleep tips

Nevertheless, if you are finding it hard to nod off, or stay asleep, here are some tips that you can start to put into practice straight away, before an appointment. Here are some steps that can help:

1. Decide what time is best for you, regardless of the other people in the house
2. Set a routine that suits your own body clock and force yourself to keep to it, even if it feels weird at the beginning. Head for bed at the same time every night and get up at the same time every morning, at least until you are in a routine and it is working for you
3. If it doesn’t happen straight away for any reason, don’t give up. You are training your body
4. Find something that can trigger your body into thinking it’s time to sleep. It could be a spray of lavender mist on your pillow before you get between the sheets, a milky drink. I have an eye mask that signals to me it’s time to drop off. I may be like one of Pavlov’s dogs but it works beautifully
5. Don’t check your phone, tablet or even TV after a certain time each night to give your brain some down-time, and ask your partner to at least do so out of your sight. I, personally, wouldn’t even read my Kindle last thing before bed
6. Go back to an old fashioned alarm clock so you don’t need to rely on your phone. You can also buy lamps/alarm clocks that recreate the sunrise over 15 minutes that provide a gentle awakening
7. Play around with sleep inducing bath salts, body oil and toiletries
8. Some people, me included, love drifting off to Audible books. It takes me back to being read to as a child
9. Make sure that you give your bed love and attention. Invest in a new mattress if you need one; certainly get some bed linen that will be a joy to snuggle in. I have a lovely lilac cashmere blanket that I can pull over me if it gets a little chilly and feel like it’s a real luxury.

What happens in a sleep clinic appointment?

We will look at your sleep in more detail, including the routines around it. We will also take a thorough inventory of aspects of your life, emotional and physical, that may be impacting your sleep, and work on addressing them. You won’t be wired up to anything, or be prescribed any medication.

Please do book a chat here to discuss working on your sleep, or email me here.

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