Money can be difficult enough for us as individuals, but when two people come together, each with their own issues around money, it can lead to problems in a relationship. Sometimes, it’s about not having enough, of course, but not always. Different spending and saving patterns can feel like chasms. There may be disagreement over parenting and how to instil money values, or even problems when one of you values money over time due to deep set financial insecurity.

All of these can result in:

• Avoiding difficult money conversations
• Disagreeing over money, time, children, or legacy
• Feeling tension without perhaps knowing why
• Resentment
• Disagreement over things like when to retire
• Struggling to feel “seen” by each other
• Very real problems with finances

Sometimes the challenge isn’t dysfunction. It’s simply that things feel off, and you need someone skilled enough to help you name what’s happening, and why.

Couples Therapy Around Money

The work we do together is thoughtful, systemic, and rooted in an understanding of finances, power, and emotional nuance. At the same time, it is very practical, and we will be working on tweaking habits and behaviours that perhaps no longer serve you as a couple.

This is not about blame. It’s about creating space for reflection, pattern recognition, and meaningful change in a safe, private environment.

Individual Financial Therapy

Perhaps you know that your money behaviours are contributing to conflict in your relationship, but you’d the space to address them alone rather than as a couple. That’s perfectly possible.

If you’re interested in addressing issues around money and finances, you can book a chat with me here.

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Are you in a place where you know you both need support, but are unsure whether therapy or coaching is better for your relationship? Qualified and experienced in both, I feel that I am in a good position to answer this.

When you need therapy for your relationship

To be clear here, the therapy is for your relationship, and it’s this we focus on. The problem is that whatever you are going through is affecting your relationship. Examples of issues would include a breakdown in trust or lack of communication skills. It could be that something that is impacting one of you, and the relationship is also suffering. This could be one of you reeling from a trauma, redundancy or bereavement, for example.

Sometimes you know these difficulties are temporary but you still want help to support you through them. On occasions, you know that simply following “tips and tricks” is not going to be enough. You need help to change patterns and behaviours, or shift something that just won’t go away.

Affecting daily life

Perhaps you are feeling the signs that something is wrong. It’s showing up in your life in ways you can’t ignore. Strong feelings of anxiety whenever you think about something that might have happened. Or you’re stuck in the same argument over and over again. Perhaps you can’t even fake a smile in the morning, even for a person you should love. Or you are feeling resentful that you are carrying the burden, while your partner or family seems to take this for granted. This is where therapy can help you both. .

The type of therapy I work with, Human Givens,  isn’t simply sitting in a room and talking. There will be exercises, tools and even homework. However, it’s all designed (and agreed on, between us) to help make shifts. There will be sessions together, but there may also be times when I see you both separately to work on something that will benefit the relationship.

When you need coaching for your relationship

For some couples, the therapy comes first before they are in a position to move into coaching. This can work well. However, perhaps your issues aren’t so deep. Maybe you’ve just had a few bad months and need help with unravelling what’s led to them. Or, external factors are affecting you both and you’d like space to think these through.

Coaching can be most helpful when you’re in a place to move forwards. Yes, there can be deep work with coaching, and it can produce amazing mindset shifts. It works especially when you know that it’s mainly communication skills that you want to work on.

Book a chat

As you can see, it’s not always cut and dried, but I can certainly give you an idea of how we would work on an initial chat. You can book yours here.

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Have you considered walk and talk therapy? Picture this: a sunny day, a gentle breeze, and you, strolling through a park or along a beach with your therapist by your side. Walk and Talk Therapy not only gets you out and about and enjoying all the benefits of physical exercise, but the movement can actually make therapy even more powerful. Here’s how:

What is Walk and Talk Therapy?

Walking therapy, sometimes called ecotherapy,  is like taking your therapy session for a spin outdoors. Sitting in a clinic together can create an environment for valuable work. However, there are also times when it’s useful to add in some movement through walking outdoors. That bilateral movement that happens during walking also helps our brains process and walking therapy can harness this.

I have curated walks around Folkestone and Hythe where we have the space to deep dive while walking, all the while enjoying the benefits of exercise and fresh air. It’s therapy, but with a side of Vitamin D!

What are the benefits of walk and talk therapy?

• Walking and talking therapy swaps the clinical setting for the great outdoors. It’s like therapy, but you get to ditch sitting still. How about sharing your thoughts while enjoying the breeze under the open sky? We have all of nature at our fingertips to help with great metaphors, and it has been proven to boost cognitive function.
• Fitness for the mind and body. My clients who struggle to find time to exercise can multi-task by using their therapy sessions. These walking appointments also work well for those who are struggling with weight or chronic illness and know that walking is vital for their health.
• Nature itself soothes us. Trees, flowers, and the occasional seagull– nature is therapeutic in itself. Walk and Talk therapy lets you soak up the calming vibes of the great outdoors. Sometimes, all you need is a change of scenery to lift your spirits, and there are many studies which pin-point time spent outdoors as being helpful with depression.
•  Walking side by side with your therapist somehow makes it all a bit more laid back. The casual setting might be helpful  for opening up and sharing your thoughts more freely. Also, walking side by side is far less intimidating than looking at someone across the room. It feels more equal, and is especially helpful when working with teenagers who are wary of counselling.
• Add in endorphins from the exercise to boost your mental health. Along with this comes a sense of achievement at getting your daily steps in.
• We walk to suit you and your pace. Even if you can only walk at a gentle stroll, we can do that, and I’ve chosen places where we can stop and catch breath or just take a pause if needed.
• Variety. Many of my clients have one week in the clinic, one week outside. They like the variety (I do too) and it helps promote a feeling of flow and movement to their therapy.

The weather

Of course, we are in the UK and beholden to the weather! I check the forecast the day before and we can reassess if we need to. Sometimes, walking in the rain can be refreshing and restorative, and I am happy to meet up if clients are up for it. However, we always have online and telephone options to fall back on.

Book a walking therapy session in Hythe or Folkestone

Drop me a line here or book in a chat to discuss working together.  I see walking locals from Folkestone and Hythe, as well as clients from Canterbury, Ashford and all over Kent.

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The room, at the top of the building, is cosy and welcoming, and it does feel like we are nestled up with the seagulls. It is up some stairs, so if access is an issue, I do have an alternative room in Folkestone.

Therapy in Hythe

I am offering Monday therapy slots in Hythe, where you can book a session that focuses on getting you into (or back into) a place where you feel in control again. As a Human Givens counsellor, my work is not about digging up copious amounts of issues from the past, but concentrating on what’s going to make you feel better as soon as possible. Of course, sometimes there are traumas, or deep seated patterns that need unravelling, and we can do that together to enable you to move on.

It can be incredibly liberating to talk through things with someone who doesn’t know your life and has no preconceived ideas about you and what you should do. However, our time together is more than just talking. Face to face, I use a lovely technique called Guided Imagery which will help you relax and increases the likelihood of you doing the things you want to do, whether that’s taking steps to lose weight or speak to a difficult colleague or family member. I also share practical tools and techniques that can make a difference to your day to day life. Most important of all is that we set some homework together. These tasks are very doable, and have a therapeutic point. Sometimes they are about helping you reach your goal, and sometimes they may be about opening you up, and helping you see things differently. All of my clients find these very useful.

Online therapy

If face to face in Hythe isn’t appropriate for you, then I also see people online. It’s not as easy to build that relationship, that is true, but it can be incredibly convenient for anyone who is not local or who might find a face to face therapy session in Hythe too much to cram into their day.

Many of my clients are entrepreneurs or business owners, but not exclusively, and I do see teenagers too.

The best thing to do is to book a chat here, or email me with your telephone number, to sort out a time to chat and we can take it from there. We will look at your goal, and what type of appointment would work best for you.

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