As a Human Givens relationship counsellor, my approach to Couples Counselling uses the Human Givens model. In short, a lot of it is about your  needs. Everyone has fundamental physical and emotional needs—the”givens”—which contribute to emotional well-being and resilience. In couples counselling, I help partners understand these needs, both in themselves and in each other, to foster a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

In our Human Givens couples counselling we look at:

 

Understanding Basic Human Needs

In a realtionship, both of you have needs that must be met for you to thrive. These include emotional needs such as security, attention, emotional connection, autonomy, and a sense of meaning or purpose. When these needs go unmet, individuals and relationships can suffer, often leading to anxiety, depression, or tension within the relationship.

Enhancing Communication Skills

Miscommunication is a common problem in relationships. We will look at practical techniques to improve your communication, encouraging you both to express your needs clearly, listen actively, and resolve misunderstandings with empathy and patience.

Focus on Positive Resources and Skills

You as individuals, and as a couple, often already possess the skills you need to succeed but may not be fully aware of them. I help you recognise and use these internal strengths to meet each other’s needs more effectively.

Solution-Focused and Practical

Our sessions are solution-focused, with the aim of helping couples make real, positive changes in their relationship in a relatively short period. Rather than delving into past traumas or conflicts, the approach focuses on practical steps partners can take to resolve issues and improve their connection in the present. Of course, if something comes up from the past that needs addressing, we have the space to do that.

Understanding and Changing Unhelpful Patterns

We will uncover any unhelpful patterns in your relationship that prevent needs from being met. This might include dependency issues, cycles of blame, or ineffective conflict resolution. We can work on replacing these patterns with healthier behaviors.

Managing Emotions 

I share strategies for managing stress, anxiety, or anger, which can all improve your realtionhsip now and in the future.

 

I offer online Human Givens couple counselling, as well as in person in Hythe and Folkestone, Kent. Contact me to arrange a call to see if working together might suit you.