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Have you considered walk and talk therapy? Picture this: a sunny day, a gentle breeze, and you, strolling through a park or along a beach with your therapist by your side. Walk and Talk Therapy not only gets you out and about and enjoying all the benefits of physical exercise, but the movement can actually make therapy even more powerful. Here’s how:

What is Walk and Talk Therapy?

Walking therapy, sometimes called ecotherapy,  is like taking your therapy session for a spin outdoors. Sitting in a clinic together can create an environment for valuable work. However, there are also times when it’s useful to add in some movement through walking outdoors. That bilateral movement that happens during walking also helps our brains process and walking therapy can harness this.

I have curated walks around Folkestone and Hythe where we have the space to deep dive while walking, all the while enjoying the benefits of exercise and fresh air. It’s therapy, but with a side of Vitamin D!

What are the benefits of walk and talk therapy?

• Walking and talking therapy swaps the clinical setting for the great outdoors. It’s like therapy, but you get to ditch sitting still. How about sharing your thoughts while enjoying the breeze under the open sky? We have all of nature at our fingertips to help with great metaphors, and it has been proven to boost cognitive function.
• Fitness for the mind and body. My clients who struggle to find time to exercise can multi-task by using their therapy sessions. These walking appointments also work well for those who are struggling with weight or chronic illness and know that walking is vital for their health.
• Nature itself soothes us. Trees, flowers, and the occasional seagull– nature is therapeutic in itself. Walk and Talk therapy lets you soak up the calming vibes of the great outdoors. Sometimes, all you need is a change of scenery to lift your spirits, and there are many studies which pin-point time spent outdoors as being helpful with depression.
•  Walking side by side with your therapist somehow makes it all a bit more laid back. The casual setting might be helpful  for opening up and sharing your thoughts more freely. Also, walking side by side is far less intimidating than looking at someone across the room. It feels more equal, and is especially helpful when working with teenagers who are wary of counselling.
• Add in endorphins from the exercise to boost your mental health. Along with this comes a sense of achievement at getting your daily steps in.
• We walk to suit you and your pace. Even if you can only walk at a gentle stroll, we can do that, and I’ve chosen places where we can stop and catch breath or just take a pause if needed.
• Variety. Many of my clients have one week in the clinic, one week outside. They like the variety (I do too) and it helps promote a feeling of flow and movement to their therapy.

The weather

Of course, we are in the UK and beholden to the weather! I check the forecast the day before and we can reassess if we need to. Sometimes, walking in the rain can be refreshing and restorative, and I am happy to meet up if clients are up for it. However, we always have online and telephone options to fall back on.

Book a walking therapy session in Hythe or Folkestone

Drop me a line here or book in a chat to discuss working together.  I see walking locals from Folkestone and Hythe, as well as clients from Canterbury, Ashford and all over Kent.

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Parents sometimes ask me how they can support their child through therapy. Indeed, some of my clients are parents whose children are getting therapy someplace else, perhaps through a school counselling service. They’ve often come to work on their own anxiety, some of which is around their children. This has prompted me to put together some general advice for parents whose children are having therapy. I tend to work with teenagers and young adults, so these thoughts are geared towards them. However, if your child is younger and having therapy, I hope that you will still find something here to help.

Supporting a teenager who is undergoing therapy can be crucial for their well-being. Here are some ways you can provide support:

Appreciating confidentiality

If I am working with your child, then our work together is confidential. These are general ethics in our profession. The only time I can break that confidentiality is if I suspect your child of hurting themselves, others, or about to commit a crime. This means that I don’t discuss therapy sessions with you, apart from things like payments and timings. However, if there is something I think you, as a parent, need to know, I strongly encourage your child to tell you. If this is difficult for them, there may well be some work around communication within a session. Alternatively, your child can request that you join us for the next session and we discuss it together.

Confidentiality is an important part of the therapy relationship. Your child needs to feel that they can bring anything to the table.

The other time I may discuss a child’s therapy is with my supervisor (again, this is common to all therapists) who is there to make sure I am practising soundly, safely and ethically.

Communicate

The best thing you can do is let your teenager or young person know that you are there if they want to discuss anything that may have come up in a session, but don’t push. You can ask now and again if they’d like to talk, but let them take the lead. If they don’t, respect their privacy and back off!

What do you need right now?

One thing I like to teach my clients is how to tune into their own needs. So, something you might do after a session is to ask them what they need right now? This could be space, a hug, a hot chocolate, for you to do something (like make an appointment with the school), or time to talk something through.

I would also encourage you and your child to leave some space, post-therapy session, for them to process what’s come up, rather than rishing back into the thick of things.

Take it slowly

Therapy can take some time, and it is a process of change. It’s important to be patient and supportive throughout their journey. With many teenagers and young people, it can take time for them to establish trust and feel safe with a counsellor. 

Learn about therapy

Different therapists have different approaches. Some encourage talking alone, others focus on early childhood and family relationships, and others are quite goal-focused, bringing in tools and exercises. It’s worth thinking about what type of counsellor would suit your child. I have many teenagers who are very interested in the psycho-education I use around how the brain works and how the chemicals it creates can influence our emotions. Likewise, when they understand how anxiety is a natural mechanism that keeps us safe, they can feel more in control. 

I use a mixture of all of the above processes, but at its heart I am solution-focused. This means that we work on making things feel better as soon as possible. I set homework, or experiments, in between sessions. These are small practical pieces of work to keep things moving forwards.

Learn about mental health

Read about what’s going on for them. If they are anxious, knowing about the mechanics of anxiety can help you understand their world, and what’s going on for them.

Attend Sessions (if asked)

I occasionally ask a parent into a session, or part of one, This is always in agreement or at the request of the child. It could be that we need the parent’s support for new behaviors the child wants to practise, or something has come up that they would like to talk about in my presence. It does not mean that anything is drastically wrong or that this is family therapy.

Encourage Consistency:

Even though these years are a time for finding selves and individuating from parents and carers, they still need all the help they can get with structure and a consistent routine. I have had parents swap shifts so they can get their children to sessions regularly and on time. Missing sessions sets us back and weakens the work. 

Cultivate a supportive home

It’s not wrong for some teenagers to crave attention (this isn’t a bad thing, we all need attention) and a sense of being looked after. This isn’t difficult to provide, but may involve looking at what added stressors can be removed from the home environment for the moment.

Help with the basics

It’s interesting how much a good night’s sleep, nutritious food, regular exercise and staying hydrated can improve mental health. This is something you can help promote, or even encourage. I’ve worked with teenaers who have asked their parents to sign them up for skateboarding or karate classes. This has helped promote physical health, a sense of achievement and improve social skills. Find out what your teenager enjoys and encourage it. 

Encourage a sense of control

Give your teenager a hand in deciding the therapist. Get them to decide on the dinner menu at home at least once a week. However, along with control comes responsibility, so encouraging this through jobs like taking the bins out and cooking once a week. Don’t under-estimate the importance of building self-esteem through achievement.

Watch, but don’t fuss

Do keep an eye out for any signs of crisis or deterioration in their mental health. If you notice concerning behaviour, reach out to their therapist, GP or mental health professional. Better still encourage them to do so and create a sense of autonomy and responsibility.

Nurture your relationship

As teenagers grow into young adults, your relationship can feel increasingly strained,or even non-existent at times. Don’t give up though! Spend quality time with your teenager. Even if this is playing X-box or silently watching a film together. Find out what they are interested in and at least learn a bit about it – you don’t have to go skateboarding with them but knowing the moves at least gives you some common language.

Building and maintaining a strong emotional connection can provide a buffer against life’s challenges. Likewise, tell them about the challenges in your own life, and how you overcame them, without preaching. Show them your own vulnerability. 

I work with teengers, young people and worried parents whose children are having therapy elsewhere. I see clients online and in Folkestone and Hythe in East Kent. Contact me or book a call for a 15 minute chat about how we could work together.

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I first came across the idea, rather than the name, when my father announced that he hated the Autumn as it was the precursor to him feeling down over the winter months. It was only in my 30s that I started to experience the same thing. So, what exactly is SAD?

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a type of depression. It generally happens at a specific time of year, usually during the Autumn and winter months when daylight hours are shorter and we tend to spend more time indoors. It makes sense doesn’t it. We have less exposure to natural light at this time. This can disrupt the body’s internal clock and even prevent hormones like melatonin being released at the right time. Melatonin affects our sleep and lack of sleep can impact all aspects of our life.  It is most commonly associated with the winter months, but some people may experience a form of SAD during the summer, especially if they find themselves housebound or working in a basement, for instance.

Common symptoms of SAD are:

1. Persistent sadness or low mood.
2. Loss of interest or pleasure in usual activities. You withdraw and also loose the structure and connection those activities used to bring to your life.
3. Increased fatigue and a desire to sleep more.
4. Finding it harder to get going in the morning.
5. Difficulty concentrating and making decisions, perhaps even brain fog.
6. Changes in appetite and weight, often with a craving for carbohydrates, or “stodge.”
7. Social withdrawal and irritability.
8. Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness.
9. Physical symptoms like aches and pains.

Even if symptoms are small, such as feeling more tired than usual, they can have a knock-on effect on your life. You end up being less productive, for instance, and this impacts your self-esteem.

How to help SAD

For many people, it’s surprisingly simple and easy to feel better. Here are some ideas:

Light Therapy (Phototherapy)

Light therapy involves exposure to a bright light box that mimics natural sunlight. It can be a highly effective treatment for SAD.  I bought a simple lightbox from Amazon for under £30 and it’s been a faithful part of my office every winter for five years now. You only need a short time every morning, and it doubles as a great light for zoom calls!

Lifestyle Changes

It may sound pretty obvious but sometimes not so easy to do if you are working – get out into the daylight early in the morning. Perhaps you can adjust your working hours to start a bit later after a walk, or get off public transport or park further away and bring a walk into your daily routine. See what you can fit in lunch time too.

See people

Do not withdraw as this makes things worse. If you’re not feeling that sociable, do something where you can be around people, but perhaps not relying on talking so much, like an activity. Or, still see people, but in shorter bursts.

Vitamin D

Some people with SAD may benefit from vitamin D supplements, as they can be deficient during the darker months.

Look at your stress levels

Stress can make things worse, and winter brings its own worries. Concerns over paying energy bills, affording Christmas or even relationship issues as we spend more time together can feel hard at this time of year. Building up a menu of stress-reduction techniques like mindfulness, meditation, and deep breathing can help. Talk to a friend and build in more exercise.

Support Groups

Not for everyone, but joining a SAD support group can provide emotional support and a sense of community with others who are experiencing similar challenges. This can be useful if you are feeling isolated and lonely already.

Your GP

If you’ve tried these natural ideas, then it could be an idea to talk to your GP. In some cases, antidepressant medications, such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), may be prescribed to alleviate symptoms.

Counselling or Psychotherapy

Working with someone like myself can help you develop coping strategies for managing SAD symptoms. If the depressed mood is bringing other things to the surface, we can work with these.

Hope

It’s important to remember that SAD is a real and treatable condition. If you’d like to talk about how I could help you, contact me here, or book in a chat here. I offer counselling in Folkestone and Hythe, as well as online therapy.

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Counselling practice in Folkestone

I offer both individual and couples counselling. Clients I work with come to me with issues that include depression, anxiety, grief, pain, overwhelm, trauma issues, anger and relationship problems. 

Relationship issues aren’t just couple counselling, but can include looking at the sometimes complex relationships between parents and children, friends and even managers and colleagues.

I also work with teenagers and offer counselling as a business service, to support staff and colleagues.

Walk and talk therapy

As Folkestone is so beautiful, it makes a lovely place to benefit from walk and talk therapy. Getting out into nature really helps the therapeutic experience, as well as getting all the benefits of exercise and sunlight at the same time. I can also offer the option of walk and talk therapy, do get in touch to find out if this would work for you, and to discuss availability.

Choosing a therapist in Folkestone

There are many therapists in Kent to choose from and it’s important that you choose the right one for you. Many therapists work with what’s gone on in your past, often reaching right back to childhood.  We do work with this if it’s relevant, and something you would like to address. However, my aim as a solution-focused therapist is to think about what we can add,  subtract or approach in a different way in your life to make things better for you right now.  There will be homework between sessions, (relevant to you and agreed by both of us), that is about doing just that.

This style of therapy works incredibly well, and often means that you don’t need prolonged therapy. The majority of my clients feel a significant difference in weeks.  Of course, everyone is different, and things like complex trauma or an ongoing situation can take longer to work with.

Talking to a possible therapist is an important part of making your choice of counsellor. You should choose someone whose approach suits your needs, and who you feel comfortable with.  My own background is as a past business owner with my own PR and marketing company for fifteen years. I then retrained as a business psychologist, executive coach and psychotherapist.

You can set up a call with me by dropping your telephone number to me via my contact form here.

Where to find the Good Therapy Practice in Folkestone

My Folkestone practice is situated at:

3rd Floor, 103 Sandgate Road, Folkestone,

Kent

CT20 2BQ

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Dealing with those unwanted thoughts of feeling like a failure

I often see business owners, and many non-business owners, muse about how they are feeling like a failure; that they haven’t done enough in life. Perhaps their business isn’t where they thought it should be. Perhaps they are single, once again, and wondering when they’ll ever get things together.  Clients question their paths, wonder what held them back from reaching their full potential and express disappointment in not being sorted enough. While many of us are happy enough to admit that we could be more organised, more productive, maybe even more driven, there are some who really struggle with guilt about their lack of progress so far.

If this resonates with you then I’d like to reassure you that these thoughts are normal. Most of us have thoughts that don’t serve us, and they can be a pain to deal with.

Let’s imagine, for a moment, a future where you may will never feel as though you have things sorted. Let’s imagine that you will always feel that there is more you need to achieve. Would it be a relief to realise that there is never a point when you say, that’s it? Can you see that not reaching some vague goal is not the problem here, but the guilt and stress that accompanies that pressure? Would you be able to breathe and stop pushing so hard? Would you pause and realise that achievement might not be the goal, and that dealing with these thoughts may be more valuable?

Dealing with these unwanted thoughts of feeling like a failure

If you’re bothered by thoughts of lack of achievement, there are a number of ways you can approach them. The first is the path of mindfulness. Just start to notice that these are just thoughts and you can step back from them and let them pass. I particularly like the analogy of watching a sushi conveyor belt and deciding to leave that particular dish on the belt. It may come around again (and it no doubt will), but you can just let it pass by. Other lovely visual examples include thinking of the thought as a balloon, and you can imagine yourself just letting it go. Or imagine it as a car coming towards you on a bridge. You can see the headlights, but you can steo back and let it pass. Watch it disappear into the distance. You can choose one of these visual tools every time these thought crop up. Play with them and noticed which works best for you.

A more left-brained approach is to build a portfolio evidence to the contrary. This means compiling a list of evidence as to why you are such a sorted and successful person, even if you haven’t achieved everything on your list yet. (If you are a parent with young children you automatically get double points here). Or, try gathering together a menu of your achievements in life, and everything you have to show for your efforts. Keep this handy to refer to when you need it.

It’s more likely that these thoughts will come faster and thicker when something is missing in your life. As a Human Givens therapist, I work with what we call the Human Needs, and there are nine of them. They include a sense of achievement, meaning and purpose, status, privacy, connection, community and a sense of control. If one of these is missing, or out of balance, we are more likely to feel wobbly and prone to unwanted thoughts like these.

Making a plan for success

What if there is a grain of truth in these thoughts? What if you really do have goals you haven’t yet reached? The simple answer is to make a plan to do just that, breaking it down, step by step. Then take the next step. Start setting bigger sales goals. Book that plane ticket to New Zealand. Buy a new notebook and start the novel. Download the dating app and get comfortable with it. Once you are taking action, those thoughts will start to dwindle.

If you’d like help with unwanted thoughts of any kind, or want to look at setting yourself achievable goals, you can book a chat with me here.

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The room, at the top of the building, is cosy and welcoming, and it does feel like we are nestled up with the seagulls. It is up some stairs, so if access is an issue, I do have an alternative room in Folkestone.

Therapy in Hythe

I am offering Monday therapy slots in Hythe, where you can book a session that focuses on getting you into (or back into) a place where you feel in control again. As a Human Givens counsellor, my work is not about digging up copious amounts of issues from the past, but concentrating on what’s going to make you feel better as soon as possible. Of course, sometimes there are traumas, or deep seated patterns that need unravelling, and we can do that together to enable you to move on.

It can be incredibly liberating to talk through things with someone who doesn’t know your life and has no preconceived ideas about you and what you should do. However, our time together is more than just talking. Face to face, I use a lovely technique called Guided Imagery which will help you relax and increases the likelihood of you doing the things you want to do, whether that’s taking steps to lose weight or speak to a difficult colleague or family member. I also share practical tools and techniques that can make a difference to your day to day life. Most important of all is that we set some homework together. These tasks are very doable, and have a therapeutic point. Sometimes they are about helping you reach your goal, and sometimes they may be about opening you up, and helping you see things differently. All of my clients find these very useful.

Online therapy

If face to face in Hythe isn’t appropriate for you, then I also see people online. It’s not as easy to build that relationship, that is true, but it can be incredibly convenient for anyone who is not local or who might find a face to face therapy session in Hythe too much to cram into their day.

Many of my clients are entrepreneurs or business owners, but not exclusively, and I do see teenagers too.

The best thing to do is to book a chat here, or email me with your telephone number, to sort out a time to chat and we can take it from there. We will look at your goal, and what type of appointment would work best for you.

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The Good Therapy Practice offers counselling in Folkestone, Kent, as well as Hythe, and online via Zoom. Founder, Human Givens counsellor, business psychologist and coach, Paula Gardner, focues on solution focused counselling. This means that it’s all about where you are now, looking at ways to make you feel better as soon as possible. Her clients include both adults and children, and she also provides an in-house service for businesses wanting to offer support to staff who may struggling with life issues.

Counselling in Folkestone, Kent

Paula currently works from both Folkestone and Hythe in person. Additionally, she works online with clients from around the UK.

Walk and talk therapy

There is also the option of walk and talk therapy. Mental health is so positively affected by getting out in nature that it can be a really beneficial element of therapy. It can be a powerful ingredient in working with anxiety or depression. For anyone feeling overwhelmed or wanting to lose weight, it’s also a nice way to work towards stress relief and fitness too. The simple act of moving often helps things shift, and encourages creative thinking.

With all the beauty of its coastline, Folkestone is a lovely place to get out and experience walk and talk therapy. From the harbour to the sandy beach to beautiful parks, it has something to suit everyone. We can walk at a pace that suits you, from a gentle stroll to power walking!

Counselling issues

Paula works with many issues including depression, anxiety, stress and overwhelm, sleep issues, panic attacks, grief, addictions and alcholism, confidence and low self-esteem, relationship issues and decision making. She also helps clients with trauma, using a specific technique called Rewind that means that you don’t have to go through all the details of the trauma again. Clients find this gentle but effective.

Why Choose The Good Therapy Practice?

Of course, there are many options for counselling in Folkestone. Having run a previous PR and marketing business, Paula is especially adept at working with business owners, leaders and those suffering from stress and overwhelm. Her business pyschology and coaching background give her a variety of techniques and approaches to draw upon. Human Givens Therapy is now being taken up by Mind, and is a therapy of choice for for PTSD Resolution.

How to Book

You can book in a no obligation chat with Paula here, or email to set up an appointment.

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