Have you considered walk and talk therapy? Picture this: a sunny day, a gentle breeze, and you, strolling through a park or along a beach with your therapist by your side. Walk and Talk Therapy not only gets you out and about and enjoying all the benefits of physical exercise, but the movement can actually make therapy even more powerful. Here’s how:

What is Walk and Talk Therapy?

Walking therapy, sometimes called ecotherapy,  is like taking your therapy session for a spin outdoors. Sitting in a clinic together can create an environment for valuable work. However, there are also times when it’s useful to add in some movement through walking outdoors. That bilateral movement that happens during walking also helps our brains process and walking therapy can harness this.

I have curated walks around Folkestone and Hythe where we have the space to deep dive while walking, all the while enjoying the benefits of exercise and fresh air. It’s therapy, but with a side of Vitamin D!

What are the benefits of walk and talk therapy?

• Walking and talking therapy swaps the clinical setting for the great outdoors. It’s like therapy, but you get to ditch sitting still. How about sharing your thoughts while enjoying the breeze under the open sky? We have all of nature at our fingertips to help with great metaphors, and it has been proven to boost cognitive function.
• Fitness for the mind and body. My clients who struggle to find time to exercise can multi-task by using their therapy sessions. These walking appointments also work well for those who are struggling with weight or chronic illness and know that walking is vital for their health.
• Nature itself soothes us. Trees, flowers, and the occasional seagull– nature is therapeutic in itself. Walk and Talk therapy lets you soak up the calming vibes of the great outdoors. Sometimes, all you need is a change of scenery to lift your spirits, and there are many studies which pin-point time spent outdoors as being helpful with depression.
•  Walking side by side with your therapist somehow makes it all a bit more laid back. The casual setting might be helpful  for opening up and sharing your thoughts more freely. Also, walking side by side is far less intimidating than looking at someone across the room. It feels more equal, and is especially helpful when working with teenagers who are wary of counselling.
• Add in endorphins from the exercise to boost your mental health. Along with this comes a sense of achievement at getting your daily steps in.
• We walk to suit you and your pace. Even if you can only walk at a gentle stroll, we can do that, and I’ve chosen places where we can stop and catch breath or just take a pause if needed.
• Variety. Many of my clients have one week in the clinic, one week outside. They like the variety (I do too) and it helps promote a feeling of flow and movement to their therapy.

The weather

Of course, we are in the UK and beholden to the weather! I check the forecast the day before and we can reassess if we need to. Sometimes, walking in the rain can be refreshing and restorative, and I am happy to meet up if clients are up for it. However, we always have online and telephone options to fall back on.

Book a walking therapy session in Hythe or Folkestone

Drop me a line here or book in a chat to discuss working together.  I see walking locals from Folkestone and Hythe, as well as clients from Canterbury, Ashford and all over Kent.

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Dealing with those unwanted thoughts of feeling like a failure

I often see business owners, and many non-business owners, muse about how they are feeling like a failure; that they haven’t done enough in life. Perhaps their business isn’t where they thought it should be. Perhaps they are single, once again, and wondering when they’ll ever get things together.  Clients question their paths, wonder what held them back from reaching their full potential and express disappointment in not being sorted enough. While many of us are happy enough to admit that we could be more organised, more productive, maybe even more driven, there are some who really struggle with guilt about their lack of progress so far.

If this resonates with you then I’d like to reassure you that these thoughts are normal. Most of us have thoughts that don’t serve us, and they can be a pain to deal with.

Let’s imagine, for a moment, a future where you may will never feel as though you have things sorted. Let’s imagine that you will always feel that there is more you need to achieve. Would it be a relief to realise that there is never a point when you say, that’s it? Can you see that not reaching some vague goal is not the problem here, but the guilt and stress that accompanies that pressure? Would you be able to breathe and stop pushing so hard? Would you pause and realise that achievement might not be the goal, and that dealing with these thoughts may be more valuable?

Dealing with these unwanted thoughts of feeling like a failure

If you’re bothered by thoughts of lack of achievement, there are a number of ways you can approach them. The first is the path of mindfulness. Just start to notice that these are just thoughts and you can step back from them and let them pass. I particularly like the analogy of watching a sushi conveyor belt and deciding to leave that particular dish on the belt. It may come around again (and it no doubt will), but you can just let it pass by. Other lovely visual examples include thinking of the thought as a balloon, and you can imagine yourself just letting it go. Or imagine it as a car coming towards you on a bridge. You can see the headlights, but you can steo back and let it pass. Watch it disappear into the distance. You can choose one of these visual tools every time these thought crop up. Play with them and noticed which works best for you.

A more left-brained approach is to build a portfolio evidence to the contrary. This means compiling a list of evidence as to why you are such a sorted and successful person, even if you haven’t achieved everything on your list yet. (If you are a parent with young children you automatically get double points here). Or, try gathering together a menu of your achievements in life, and everything you have to show for your efforts. Keep this handy to refer to when you need it.

It’s more likely that these thoughts will come faster and thicker when something is missing in your life. As a Human Givens therapist, I work with what we call the Human Needs, and there are nine of them. They include a sense of achievement, meaning and purpose, status, privacy, connection, community and a sense of control. If one of these is missing, or out of balance, we are more likely to feel wobbly and prone to unwanted thoughts like these.

Making a plan for success

What if there is a grain of truth in these thoughts? What if you really do have goals you haven’t yet reached? The simple answer is to make a plan to do just that, breaking it down, step by step. Then take the next step. Start setting bigger sales goals. Book that plane ticket to New Zealand. Buy a new notebook and start the novel. Download the dating app and get comfortable with it. Once you are taking action, those thoughts will start to dwindle.

If you’d like help with unwanted thoughts of any kind, or want to look at setting yourself achievable goals, you can book a chat with me here.

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Dealing with difficult redundancy conversations is something for which few of us are prepared. One of the saddest things about being a business owner is when you have to let people go, due to redundancy. While medium to large businesses will have a HR person or department that can handle this, it may be that you need to deliver the news yourself if you are a small business.  Meanwhile, if your business is such that you are having to make people redundant, it’s probable that you may not be in the best state of mind yourself.

In this video interview I talked to clinical psychologist Dr Natalie Bodart about how to handle the delivery of the bad news. First: how do you have those difficult conversations? Dr Bodart looks at how to use your values and knowledge of a person. This will help you guide the session. She also shares advice on how to look after yourself in this process. Self-care is vital at this time, especially if you are having to do a number of redundancy conversations. Being on the delivery end also has a psychological impact. This is especially so if you work closely with a person and know them and their circumstances well. 

This video is ideal for anyone who has to deliver the tough news of redundancy to their employees or colleagues, and who wants to do it in an ethical and compassionate way. It’s rarely good news for the recipient, so thinking carefully about how we approach this makes good business sense.

Dr Natalie Bodart

Dr Natalie Bodart is a chartered psychologist with the British Psychological Society. You can find Natalie at https://www.thebodartpractice.co.uk

Are you struggling with your business and would appreciate talking this through with a therapist and business psychologist at this time?  You can contact me to book in an introductory no-cost session to see how I can help.

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Adopting the growth mindset can help us get more out of life, feel happier and make us less vulnerable to mental health issues. I’ll be using the work of Carol Dweck, and explain why we should be aiming for the growth mindset. I also look at ways we can set up our lives to support us in that.

If you head up a team, sharing the concept of the growth mindset with them can be a really interesting exercise to do. This is an ideal tutorial to help motivate you in your business, or help with team building and connection.

Want to chat about bringing more of the growth mindset into your life and business? Contact me here.

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I’m guilty of not doing this myself. Recently I heard that I had achieved a qualification I had been studying for four years. I initially was all excited when I heard, but within hours had moved into planning the next step.  Then, I suddenly stopped and thought to myself, Paula, what are you doing??! You’ve been working towards this for four years and you are jumping straight into another set of tasks and to-dos. It’s time to just pause and acknowledge all that work.

So my first question for you is how often do you celebrate your own achievements, in life and in business?

Small Achievements Add Up

It’s also helpful to notice our small achievements along with the bigger, more obvious ones. It’s easy to spot our achievements when they are big things in life, like passing exams or getting a new client. However, it’s all too easy to forget about taking note of our smaller achievements, like having that difficult conversation with an awkward customer, posting consistently on social media and not getting distracted by it, or just getting out for a walk in our lunch break.

If noticing our big wins can help us really feel that sense of achievement, think about what focusing on those small wins every day could do. A to-do list is a good place to start, really relishing those moments when you take that pen and run through an item, or just delete it into netherspace. Additionally, you can start noting down your small wins as you do them, especially if they are not the things you’d put on your list. Even managing to stop and daydream for five minutes can be seen as an achievement.

Pretty quickly, you’ll start to realise how much you really do accomplish, and how all those achievements really do add up.

Noticing Others

I’ve been talking about how noticing our own achievements can boost our mental health but this is also something we can do for others. If you’re a parent, this can be transformative. Of course, anyone who is managing staff knows that this is good leadership.

A recent Gallup survey has linked feeling recognised in the workplace with feeling more connected, more productive and more engaged, all good reasons to be doing this. It also found that those people who felt recognised for their work were more likely to see a future within that organisation for themselves. Of course, we know this already. It’s just common sense, but these findings hammer home the need to do it.

So, my challenge to you is to do this for someone today. I promise you will both feel good about it.

Finally…

There is a trap with being too achievement orientated, and that is that we can become obsessed with ticking things off our to-do list to the detriment of other things. In a recent interview for my mental health for entrepreneurs series, James Eves, co-founder of Work Pirates, mentioned that resting is an achievement, and that’s something that really resonated with me.

I know it also applies to many of my clients. In the past, many of my psychotherapy clients have talked about seeing something like their yoga class as something they have to do, or setting aside the time to relax and finding that they just can’t get into that space. Pondering this, I’ve noticed the top three things that really help me to relax in the midst of a typical day. They are:

1. Slow breathing. Breathing into my tummy for a count of 7, and then out for 11, which really helps me step into that space.
2. Inviting one of my cats onto my lap and listening to them purr.
3. Taking a cuppa into the garden and watching the birds.

My final question is what could this be for you? What simple actions can you do, every day, that can help you slow down and rest – achieve in a different way?

If you feel like you’re on a hamster wheel you can’t get off, do contact me to arrange a call to see if it would help to do some work together.

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Over the years I have worked with many apprentices in my role as an apprentice coach. I am always impressed by their ability to hold down a new and busy job with studying and producing high quality course work.

People often look at apprenticeships as an easy alternative to University, but it is a mistake to think this way. Apprentices are juggling work (often a new job), with studying. Traditional university students can focus entirely on their studies. Apprentices are sometimes treated as the dogsbody of the business, and given the least interesting tasks to do. They can sometimes find it hard to integrate with teams, or speak up for themselves. After all, they are only the “apprentice.” I am not criticising apprenticeships. I think they are a wonderful way into work, and have been working with the PRCA apprenticeship scheme for years. Nevertheless, I don’t think we should be under-estimating the work involved.

Mental Health Resources For Apprentices

Neither should we be forget the possible strains the above can put on their mental health. This is why we have created a list of mental health resources for apprentices here. Let’s start with our own:

Counselling Sessions for Apprentices

Life happens to apprentices just like anyone else. On top of their studies and work duties they may be struggling with anxiety, grief, or depression. There are funds available that training providers can use to support apprentices in the form of counselling sessions, and I would be delighted to deliver these. Please contact me to discuss.

Mental Health seminars for Apprentices

We have put together a number of seminars that will support apprentices’ mental health. They can be delivered as a group in person, or online, and recorded for future watching. Here are our current titles:

Coping with Anxiety at Work

It’s natural to be concerned about delivering good work and creating a good impression but there may be moments when that anxiety can start to impede your performance. This seminar looks at practical ways to help you dial down any feelings of anxiousness or panic, including how to deal with panic attacks. We also discuss how to help those around you who may be suffering from anxiety.

Dark Days and Depression

Depression can cause havoc with your performance at, and your enjoyment of work. It can leave you feeling isolated, lacking in motivation and has a severe physical impact on your health. Spotting signs of depression in yourself and others means that you can implement the self-help strategies covered in this workshop to help move you out of depression, or recognise when you need more professional help.

Dispelling Social Anxiety

What was once called shyness can be a huge barrier to promotions, building a network, and even impacts our mental health. This seminar looks at ways we can work on our social anxiety and help us feel more in control of situations where we are interacting with others.

Self-Discipline, Habits and Rituals

We all rely on self-discipline, habits, and rituals to get things done, but how often do you think about which one serves you best? In this workshop you will learn how to increase your self-discipline, break bad habits – or create new ones, and create your own powerful rituals to change your mindset.

Again, please contact me or book a call to discuss.

Mental Health UK

Younger apprentices (up to 18) may find this charity helpful as it focuses on mental health and life transitions. The charity has developed a young people’s programme to help equip 14 to 18 year olds with the tools and knowledge to maintain their mental health.Find out more.

The Samaritans

If you need to talk to someone right now, The Samaritans are avalaible by phone and on line. Call the Samaritans for free on 116123, or find their site here.

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