Dealing with difficult redundancy conversations is something for which few of us are prepared. One of the saddest things about being a business owner is when you have to let people go, due to redundancy. While medium to large businesses will have a HR person or department that can handle this, it may be that you need to deliver the news yourself if you are a small business.  Meanwhile, if your business is such that you are having to make people redundant, it’s probable that you may not be in the best state of mind yourself.

In this video interview I talked to clinical psychologist Dr Natalie Bodart about how to handle the delivery of the bad news. First: how do you have those difficult conversations? Dr Bodart looks at how to use your values and knowledge of a person. This will help you guide the session. She also shares advice on how to look after yourself in this process. Self-care is vital at this time, especially if you are having to do a number of redundancy conversations. Being on the delivery end also has a psychological impact. This is especially so if you work closely with a person and know them and their circumstances well. 

This video is ideal for anyone who has to deliver the tough news of redundancy to their employees or colleagues, and who wants to do it in an ethical and compassionate way. It’s rarely good news for the recipient, so thinking carefully about how we approach this makes good business sense.

Dr Natalie Bodart

Dr Natalie Bodart is a chartered psychologist with the British Psychological Society. You can find Natalie at https://www.thebodartpractice.co.uk

Are you struggling with your business and would appreciate talking this through with a therapist and business psychologist at this time?  You can contact me to book in an introductory no-cost session to see how I can help.

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We talk to student Rachel Brek about her involvement with the free meditation app, Medito.

Understanding the psychology of people has always been a fascination. Being able to combine this with a deep understanding of society and the problems we face, led me to my unique degree at Cardiff University. I am currently in my second year, studying a Bachelor of Science in Human and Social Sciences. When the opportunity came up to volunteer for a free meditation app, I was intrigued to find out more.  I am now currently involved in producing new meditation sessions aimed at students. These range from anxieties about moving to university,  to getting a graduate job. However, the app is not just for students, we are also aiming to reach a more diverse group of people with the app, as it has meditations for everyone!

Positive impact

Meditation has still not reached its full potential. This is often due to people being unaware of just how much of a positive impact it can have on their lives. We live in a society where individuals are stuck in a busy routine and constantly on the go. This leaves little time for our minds to rest. However, it is important to have time set aside to  disconnect from the world around us.  One of the amazing benefits of meditation is that it reduces stress and anxiety. This can help us achieve a better night’s sleep, helping us prepare for the next day. Furthermore, research suggests that meditation helps manage symptoms of chronic pain, depression and tension headaches.

The idea for a free meditation app

Medito was founded by Romain Sourdiaux. Medito is unique to any other app. Its sole aim is to provide free forever meditation. Furthermore, it strives to include everyone. Meditations are currently being translated into more than 20 languages. The work ethic of the Medito community is also one full of support and patience. Medito also opens its doors to as many people as possible. It constantly offers more opportunities for volunteers to jump onboard.

Meditation packs

Medito has a huge range of meditation packs and an easy to navigate app, another great reason why everyone should try it out. If you are someone with a busy schedule who only has a few minutes to spare, Medito offers 3-minute daily meditation sessions to suit this need. Additionally, if you have more specific worries, there are packs covering work life, sleeping, and many more. Furthermore, the Medito website has a page of articles. These are great for anyone new to meditation who wants to understand more of the science behind it. You can also find alternative ways to meditate, such as walking meditation. It truly has something for everyone, which is one of the joys of Medito.

Has a long-term impact

Finally, being able to reflect on some of the personal benefits of meditation is what motivates me to continue meditating. Meditation has slowed down my mind and my life. It has allowed me to take everything in, deeper and clearer. It has also hugely improved my quality of sleep. Being able to switch off from my worries at night allows me to get a good night’s rest. It makes the following day brighter and happier. Meditation is all about improving the mental state that you are in. However, this doesn’t mean you have to be in any sort of negative mental state to begin with. It’s just about becoming more aware, more mindful and getting more out of life.

Medito

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What does a typical day look like for you?

If it’s Monday or Friday it’s starts with clarity, confidence, connection and courage. An assembly with the Be Braver Collective by way of a group coaching check in I host. To top and tail the week. Everyone sets their intentions, checks in on what they need. Notices any fears, obstacles or challenges and attends to the success, wins and gains. It’s the best start and end to the week for us all. Friday we look back and see how far we’ve come, where we fell, got back up or rolled over laughing. After that it’s varied. Client coaching. Workshops. Speaking events. Programme delivery. Researching, writing. New business calls. Admin. Marketing. Collaboration calls. Parking ideas on post it notes. School runs. Pick ups and drop offs. Cooking. Cleaning. Washing. Tidying. Shopping. Breathing.

Why Is Mental Health So Important For Business Owners?

See above! No matter the size of your business or ownership model. Whether you are flying solo like me or working in a partnership – the responsibilities are all on you. The decisions you have to make endless. The risks, threats and uncertainties you are surrounded with never ending. It takes great courage, self awareness and other awareness to be able ride the lack of stability and security that’s comes with it. When our mental health suffers. Everyone does. How we experience being ourselves, the decisions we make for the business and the impact that might have on those relying on us for employment, service delivery, partnerships etc Answering this question has got me thinking about the analogy you can’t pour from an empty pot. You also need to make sure your pot is the right size and isn’t leaking anywhere in the first place. If we aren’t in shape then that’s not going to help anyone.

WHAT HAVE BEEN YOUR BIGGEST MENTAL HEALTH CHALLENGES?

Loss. PTSD. Anxiety. Being alone. Which isn’t the same as loneliness. Also as a parent and as a business owner. I’m proud of it. But it can be hard at times having no-one to share hardship and adversity with. Women are the primary carers ins society of the young and elderly. Running businesses. I’ve the utmost respect for the solos out there. I have amazing friends and family. Lots of supporters. However when uncertainty surrounds me and I feel insecure that’s very challenging for me. I don’t like how it feels -although these days it’s hard to know what’s peri-menopause, what’s the cost of living crisis, what’s post Brexit, what’s the COVID hangover.

WHAT THREE THINGS HAVE YOU DONE, OR ARE DOING THAT HELP BOOST YOUR MENTAL HEALTH?

Gratitude diary – it’s so simple yet so effective. In my darkest days it was the anchor to my days. It’s such a quick easy thing to do but helps your mind scour the day for the things that matter. I think it connects us to hope when we feel scarcity and love when we feel abundance. Sharing when I’m not OK. And knowing who the people to share that with are. Pausing. Whether that’s about meditation. A cup of tea. A cuddle with my cats. A walk in the fresh air. Noticing it. Sitting with it. Understanding it and accepting it. Connecting with my courage – remembering who I am, what I’m here for and who I am becoming. Struggles are an opportunity to continue building strength for the next time. Being proud of what I’ve overcome. Letting go of other peoples judgements.

ARE THERE ANY BOOKS YOU HAVE FOUND HELPFUL?

It feels like cheating saying my diary but that’s probably the most useful one in terms of mental health if I’m honest. Any book with a feminist view of the world I find comforting because it validates the struggle. Our truth and the reality of the world as women experience it. I often think I ought to find the time to write the Be Braver mindset and framework up as a book. It’s the knowledge I wish I’d had about how to live and lead through the trials of life. It’s the practice that guides and drives me now.

ARE THERE ANY WAYS YOU SABOTAGE YOURSELF AND WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT IT?

I think I’m quite hard on myself. Which leads to continuous improvement but probably doesn’t allow for much self recognition. I’ve returned to journaling and it’s helpful for noticing patterns and seeing how far I have come. By my own measures of what matters to me.

WHAT HAVE YOU FOUND IS BAD FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH?

Alcohol, finances and social media. I stopped drinking two years ago and it’s dramatically improved my life. Everyone talks about how hard it is to not be able to escape and unwind with a drink at the end of the day / week. Nobody talks about how amazing it is to show up to sober euphoria and joy. How intoxicating that feels.

Social media. I opted out of it all years ago and what a difference it made to how centred and abundant life felt. As a set up Be Braver I realised I’d have to have presence online and I’ve found it harder than I thought. Not so much putting me out there but more being surrounded by the insane amount of messages we are no bombarded with and the effort it takes to influence what you do and don’t absorb. Some of its so subtle. We think ‘I’m not succumbing to comparisonitus’ but it’s almost impossible to avoid. I do the minimum I need to now. Get in and get out as fast as I can.

Finances. I’ve lived the life with a secure stable income. I’ve lived the life with fluctuating cash flow, inabilities to pay the bills and sleepless nights about unforeseen debts. We can be good with money management but circumstances outside of our control can present situations we’d never anticipated. The insecurity this brings takes quite something to manage, difficult decisions.

DO YOU HAVE ANY MENTAL HEALTH ADVICE FOR OTHER ENTREPRENUERS, BUSINESS OWNERS AND FREELANCERS OUT THERE?

Focus on how far you have come. Be clear on where you are going and why. Remember it’s the journey not the destination that counts. You will need courage. You have it in abundance. Make space to measure it. For that is where you confidently learn the most about your competence. Create connection with the people, networks and resources that will make a difference and contribute to your rate of travel. Where you can give aswell as receive. Find your tribe. When things get tough, reconnect with your clarity, confidence and connections. There you will find the courage to make the decisions you need answers too. Don’t compare. Your definition of ‘success’ will be different to someone else’s. The choices they had available to them won’t be the same as yours. Find a community, a safe space, a coach. Somewhere you can speak and share freely at least once a month. Do not carry everything alone. Write. Run. Read. Swim. Sing. Sleep. Whatever your thing is that helps you recharge, reset and feel restored. Make sure you’d know what it is and do it.

If you’re a business owner looking to talk to someone about difficult things in your own life right now, book a chat with Paula here.

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Paula Gardner is a business psychologist, coach and founder of The Good Therapy Practice, seeing clients online and in Folkestone and Canterbury, Kent.

What’s a typical work day look like for you?

I’m usually up by eight, and working by ten. I like a bit of a slow start to my day! I tend to see my business consultancy clients in the mornings, and therapy clients in the afternoons, although this can vary. I work in Canterbury one day a week, seeing therapy clients at the Umbrella Centre. The rest of the time I am seeing clients via Zoom or in person in Folkestone. If I’m not seeing clients then I’m likely to be doing things like writing blogs and articles, or catching up on work reading. At the end of each day I write up my client case notes, review my to-list for the next day and reread case notes for any clients I will be seeing the next day. I only do therapy one evening a week, and work every other Saturday morning, so most evenings and weekends are my own.

Why is mental health so important for business owners?

It’s important for everyone, but business owners face extra pressures. These apply whether they are a freelancer working with a handful of clients, or a growing business owner who is making decisions that impact their employees’ ability to pay their bills and mortgages. Business owners carry a lot of responsibility on their shoulders, making decisions that impact the future of their business every day. Entrepreneurs, and freelancers in particular, are susceptible to feelings of isolation, as they are often working solo. Finally, if you’re ill or grieving, you generally have to just get on with it. It’s a big decision to take a day off, unless you’ve been very wise and set your work up to allow you to do so.

What have been your biggest mental health challenges?

I have been knocked sideways by grief more times that I care to remember, the most recent being when my father died at the beginning of the first lockdown. Incidentally, work kept me going at that time. The structure and companionship (even on Zoom) gave me connection, community, meaning and purpose, vital needs as identified by the Human Givens.

What three things have you done, or are doing that help boost your mental health?

I moved to Folkestone, and just being able to take walks along the coastline has been hugely beneficial. Even on a wet and windy day they are invigorating. During lockdown in London, I only had access to a school playing field for exercise, and I remember walking round and round that field as though I was a prisoner!

I also try and take at least an hour out a week, just sitting in a coffee shop with a notepad. I’ll use that time to journal and check in with myself. Am I doing too much? Am I doing what I want? Who would I like to spend time with right now? Am I getting enough exercise and doing enough fun things? Often, if I’m not careful, they can turn into to-do list sessions, so I have to force myself to pull back and be more reflective. This weekly check in really helps me consider if what I am spending my time on is serving me well.

Finally, I don’t own a car. This means that not only am I not worrying about paying for it, but I am forced to walk. I’ve always worked a lot; even my schools tended to be at least a half hour walk away when I was a child. Walking always lifts my mood and, like that coffee shop and notebook time, helps me feel grounded. If I travel, I travel by train. This means that I can settle down with a good book, or Audible book on my headphones, and relax.

Are there any books you have found helpful?

Reading self-help and psychology books is work for me, so I find it most helpful to lose myself in fiction. I’ve always been a Thomas Hardy fan, ever since I did The Return of The Native at school. Picking up one of his books is like putting on a pair of soft, comfortable slippers. I also love the thrill of discovering new authors and realising they’ve written a whole library of books I have ahead of me!

Interestingly, I often find that clients tell me they can’t read when they are going through something. It’s as if their brain hasn’t got the capacity to concentrate. I know that things are improving for them when they can finally pick up a book again. That’s why I really encourage my clients to read, whether it’s magazines or page turning pot-boilers. Books, physical books are better too as we spend so much time on gadgets.

Are there any ways you sabotage yourself and what do you do about it?

I pack out my diary far too much. I like doing things, seeing people and feeling busy. However, this doesn’t leave much time for rest and sometimes it can catch up with me. I now book in rest times, just like meetings and appointments. I am a member of a local health club with a pool, and spend one afternoon a week there. I also book myself in for art classes on a regular basis. That enforced creativity and chat with others again helps me turn off. Finally, as well as my online calendar, I still use a physical diary. This lets me see, at a glance, how busy a week is looking. Too much writing on the pages and I know I shouldn’t be taking on any more.

It’s been a hard lession, but i’ve learned the value of having my own space.

What have you found is bad for your mental health?

Too much sugar doesn’t make me feel great about myself, although I do find it hard to turn down a cake when I have a coffee. Staying in and doing nothing, watching too much TV (usually box-sets), in fact anything that makes me feel like I am stagnating. I do suffer from SAD (seasonal affective disorder) which means that I can get quite tired and a little down in the winter months, but a lightbox really helps with that. I also haven’t really felt the full brunt of it since moving to the seaside at Folkestone and getting out and about much more. So who knows, perhaps it’s a thing of the past.

Do you have any mental health advice for other entreprenuers, business owners and freelancers out there?

Start noticing what makes you tick and what makes you feel bad. It sounds simplistic but so many of us don’t even think about what we enjoy doing on a daily basis. It’s not the big things, the cars and the holidays, that help determine our happiness. It’s things like allowing ourselves to savour a really good mug of Earl Grey and watch the birds in the garden before we get going on our day. How many moments like this are you allowing yourself to have?

Choosing a psychotherapist who understands business can be really useful. If you’d like to book a therapy session with Paula you can contact her here, or book an appointment here.

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