Does it feel like menopause or perimenopause has crept into your life and turned even your closest relationship upside down? You’re not imagining it, and you certainly don’t have to face it alone, whether it’s you that is going through this transition, or your partner.

Hormones and intimacy

Menopause is more than hot flushes and sleepless nights. Beyond the physical changes, it brings emotional turbulence and these shifts can have an uncomfortable way of threading into your relationship. Suddenly, familiar routines feel awkward. There are emotional closeness frays and communication hits unexpected snags.

This is unknown territory for both of you, and of course it will be. Perimenopause and menopause bring with them big questions around identity as much as physical and emotional symptoms: a real existential moment.

These shifts can feel subtle at first, but then overwhelming before you know it. You might find yourselves drifting into misunderstanding, irritation, or even isolation. This is not because love has faded, but because navigating these changes without support is deeply challenging.

What isn’t happening

It’s not that your love or commitment is failing.  Likewise, it’s not happening because you’re not trying hard enough. Finally, it isn’t about “rescuing” each other. It’s about rediscovering connection during a time of profound change.

How couples therapy helps during menopause and perimenopause

We might look at:

• Practical tools to ease tension—like grounding techniques during hot flushes or emotional regulation skills when an argument feels triggered by inner overwhelm.
• A compassionate space to explore what’s going on to gently notice the interplay between hormonal shifts, identity, intimacy, and boundaries.
• Strategic, tailor-made steps to help you feel better sooner—not distant or defensive, but held and understood.
• Emerging new identities, both for the person going through menopause or perimenopause, but also what this means for your identity as a couple.

Since we work using the Human Givens model, you may find this clarity and reconnection starts sooner than you’d expect, with fewer sessions needed.

You don’t have to navigate this alone

You can come together, or one of you can take the first step. In-person sessions are available in Hythe and Folkestone, or you can meet online in the comfort of your home.

If this feels familiar, I invite you to reach out for a free 15-minute introductory chat. Message me here to book one in.

The post Is Menopause Ruining Your Relationship? appeared first on The Good Therapy Practice.

You might think that HRT, if it can help, would be a good thing.

As a therapist, and not a doctor, it’s not something I can advise upon. There’s a lot of evidence for the arguments of both sides of the coin. So much so that it can get downright confusing. Even many GPs aren’t as informed on the subject as we would hope them to be.

Talking about Menopause

It’s great that the subject of menopause has become much more acceptable to talk about. In my mother’s day it was whispered about (“oh, she’s going through the change”). Today, it’s openly discussed on everything from in the workplace to LinkedIn. This is good. Menopause can have a huge impact on so many aspects of a woman’s life. Once confident women report suddenly asking themselves, “where did she go?” as the ballsy woman they once were fades away.

High profile celebrities like Davina McColl and Carol Vorderman have been vociferous in coming out in favour of HRT. Waterstones’ shelves heave under new titles and it’s now no longer taboo. The downside of this, however, is that there is a lot of information out there to sift through.

For those with family or personal histories of breast cancer or deep vein thrombosis, the decision whether to use HRT can be agonising. They are literally adding up risks in their heads. Read something that says it will double your risk, will naturally send alarm bells off. Fear can take over.

The decision whether to use HRT is a very personal one. Then, once you’ve committed to that road, there could be a number of iterations of different treatments to find the one that is right for you.

Deciding whether to use HRT

What I can tell you from working with clients is:

• You need to find a GP who will take you seriously and is open to HRT. Some are not
• Reading about this yourself is the only way to understand what it means for you. Take responsibility and get yourself as educated as possible
• You can still listen to friends, but think for yourself
• HRT is not an excuse to eat badly, forget to exercise or look after yourself. You need to help your HRT do the work
• This is not a decision that is set in stone. If you go on HRT, you can come off it, if you wish. Likewise, you can swap medications, increase and decrease doses, or go private and get a more bespoke service if you have the cash

Resources to help you decide whether to use HRT

Here are some sites that I have found to be excellent resources on HRT.

Balance

An excellent look at the risks and benefits in a way that is easy to understand

Liz Earle Well-Being

A beautiful site that covers not only menopause but beauty and lifestyle features for any woman at this time of life.

Menopause Matters

A friendly forum that is supportive and often knowledgeable. Don’t make any changes to your dose or make decisions on this alone. Always consult your GP or private menopause consultant first.

Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine

Very informative if you have decided to stick with the natural route.

The NICE Guidelines

UK guidelines for GPs.

Menopausal not Mad

A pro-menopause group on Facebook. This would be more useful if you do decide to go this way, and want ideas and support approaching your GP, rather than help making a decision.

Therapy for menopause?

Many of the symptoms can also be helped through therapy, too, especially anxiety and sleep. If you’d like a no-cost chat to see if you’d like to work on them with me, contact me here

The post Deciding Whether To Use HRT appeared first on The Good Therapy Practice.